Dear so and so...

Dear Postman,

You are so lovely, and always so jolly (even in the pissing rain). But please, PLEASE can you stop making my letterbox make the most awful noise, which in turn makes the pooch bark which makes pollie wake from his nap. It is very irritating, you are too nice for me to say something to your face.

Thank you,
Number 11.


Dear Harvey,

You are 3 now, which means your such a big boy and growing up so fast! So please CAN YOU STOP MAKING THAT AWFUL NOISE YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T GET YOUR OWN WAY.

Thank you.


Dear Weather,

Come on now, its July for goodness sake. We are meant to be burnt to a crisp and getting sweaty in the night and kicking the covers off. But no, instead my foreign tan is quickly fading and im sleeping in my jim jams with my cover over me. Is this really what you want?? No. It is not. Please, just give us a couple of weeks of beautiful sunshine so we can make the most of our garden.

A stroppy human.


Dear Pooch,

You are such a good boy, i really do appreciate your tollerance with the boys and your lack of chewing things too. You really are a wonderful dog.

Yours truly,

Owner. X

Dear So and So...

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