Last night i snuggled up in bed and noticed a new post from etst. Pretty sure every blogger knows who i mean, and if you don't... you need to get over there right now.
She wrote about the faith she is teaching her children, how much or how little and how she felt as a child growing up. Whilst i don't have a God or a belief or a person i ask for help, it really made me think about the way we inflict our children. The things we say and do really rub off on them and its only since Harvey is getting fully aware and has the most ridiculous memory, its starting to sink in that i need to change.
I don't want them growing up remembering the little things i do like getting in a strop when they aren't putting their shoes on in lightening speed. I want them to remember the calm talks we have when things go wrong, i want them to know the difference between right and wrong and know that if they do do something wrong then i'm not going to burst into an uncontrollable rage. They don't want a mum who shouts all the time, who is impatient with a short fuse. I want them to confide in me and share their deepest worries. (Just going to say now... i'm not THAT bad. I don't shout all the time!!)
The thoughts we feel at any given moment don't necessarily need to be aired at that moment. Its learning to keep things inside until a more appropriate time. Whilst at the dinner table and i remember Oliver pulled my hair and weed on the floor, i don't need to tell Joe and bring it up, it will only make him feel sad and guilty. When my big toe happens to kick a door frame and i want to scream every swear word on the planet, i keep it in.
Its not even about bad language, its about keeping my cool and knowing who is listening. Knowing that whatever i do or say, it WILL inflict my children.
Thought of the day - Keep calm and carry on.
I had 3 photoshoots this weekend...
More on those to come...